How it should have ended
by BeautyWillRiseFromAllDarkness
Summary: What if Lily had been beaten by her father? And was afraid to love? What happens when she finally says yes to James? What will their ending be? A one-shot.


**This was originally going to be an epilogue to a story I was writing, but then I never really got around to writing the story. ;) So I decided I would just post this and see what people think. Oh, and I'm sorry about grammar and spelling mistakes but I don't have a beta...Ok, here is a brief history of what was supposed to happen. So Lily was beaten by her father and her mother was a drug addict. So when she finally says yes to James, they fall in love. Blah, blah, mush, mush. Skip to where they have their first child named, of course, Harry. They aren't married yet and Lily still is telling James that this was all just them messing around (Yeah right!) Ok, now skip to where she finally admits she loves him and voila! You are at where the one-shot start!**

"James?" She said tentatively. "Yes?"

"Remember how I would always say that this was just fun?"  
"Yeah..." He said, somewhat suspiciously. "Well it wasn't just fun."  
"What are you saying, Lily?" He asked, his eyes widening. "I'm saying...it was love..." She whispered the last part. "You love me?" She slowly nodded. "I'm so sorry."  
"Why are you sorry?" A tear leaked out of her eye. "Because sometimes, sometimes love can't save everything."  
"What do you mean? There's nothing to save" He nearly shouted. He just couldn't understand why she would be crying. She loved him! Now they could finally be together!  
"There's me." She whispered but he didn't hear.

_All living things will one day _  
_meet there end_.

She remembered that conversation as she held the dagger near her heart. It wouldn't hurt. It would be over in a minute. No magic to backfire this time. _It will all end. There has been too much pain. So much. There's nothing left for me on this earth. It has to end. It's for the best._ She pushed the dagger through her heart. There was on millisecond of her life left to contemplate what she had just done. The thought "_It's for the best._" flickered in her mind one last time as her life slipped away. The words "I'm sorry." floated around the room as her life abated away. Then, everything went black and it all ended.

_Her inner peace was found  
through the cold stillness of death._

He punched a wall. He got a sick pleasure from the deafen crack the now crumbling plaster made. _How could this happen? I watched her so carefully. How could she slip away. Why would she slip away?_ Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he had known this would happen. He knew things like this could never last. After all, all things must end. _Things must end. But why? How could "us" end? We were so great, so perfect, how could anything sever the tie that binded us together? _He kicked another wall. His foot could very well be broken, but he didn't care. He wanted, no _needed_, pain. Anything to distract him from the agony in his heart. _They were supposed to get married, have ten kids, and die in each others arms at an age well past eighty. It was supposed to be right out of a fairytale. Why, why would she throw it all away? _He punched the wall again and slumped to the floor.

_However long the night, the dawn will break._

He knew the manner in which she died. A dagger through the heart. But he couldn't bring himself to die that way. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't. He could not repeat her death. It would bring too much pain. It would make the memories he tried so hard to forget, come back. And so he choose a different way to die. He choose to kill himself with his wand. The wand he used so much times to protect her, would be used against him. And he knew which curse he would use. Avada Kedavra. He would use an unforgivable curse to do an unforgivable act. Sirius would be cut up inside, but he would understand. He would know that he _had_ to do it. Without her, he was nothing. She had sent herself to the one place he couldn't follow her. But he could. No, this was not an ending, this was a beginning. Yes, he could see it. After all, things fall apart so things can fall together. To him, this was falling together. To him, this would set things right. Clinging to that thought, he whispered the curse.

_The darkness of death is like the evening twilight;  
it makes all objects appear more lovely to the dying._

He chuckled sardonically as the Dementors passed by. _So this is how I spend the rest of my life?_ After eight years in Askaban, he was quite used to the depressing feelings. As he relived his worst memories once again, he couldn't help but think bitterly, _cheers. Cheers to the boy who never loved again, to the girl who never grew up, to the innocent man who was condemned._ He didn't know that in five years time, he would escape. But even if he had known that, then finding out that he would never be a free man, but die at the hands of his cousin, he probably wouldn't have been very comforted. _Well, better get comfortable they haven't even made their afternoon rounds, yet._ Yes, cheers to the cold grasp life holds on all of us. And cheers to the icy release that is known as death. Cheers.

_The fear of death often proves mortal,  
and sets people on methods to save their lives,  
which infallibly destroys them._

He stood at the cliffs edge. It would be so easy. So easy to just jump. Everything was over anyway. James and Lily, the infamous couple, both dead at their own hands. Sirius Black, convicted murderer, finally free only to be murdered. There was utterly nothing left. He had no one. He looked up. Sunset. In only minutes, he would not be who he was. The only good that ever came from that was that it allowed him to forget. This time would be different. For the first time in years, he would transform alone. The cold reality seemed to hit him. He was alone. He always would be. A light shower started. He was glad. He could now lie to himself and say he wasn't crying. He thought back on his school days. Amusing and carefree. _Carefree. I can't remember the last time I was carefree. Heck, I can't remember the last time I was happy._ He could be happy if he jumped. He could be with his friends again. He could be carefree. But was it fair? Was it fair for him to give it all up? And force everyone to work harder? Was it fair to enjoy the freedom death brings while everyone else was working for the greater good. They were trying to free everyone and he thought only of himself. _Is it fair?_ He looked up at the heavens. It thundered and the sky light up. He took a deep breath. Braced himself. Said goodbye. And walked away.

_Courage leads to heaven;  
fear leads to death_

He looked at the graves. They were all there, lined one after another. He hadn't been here in almost 15 years. The first two years after the last of them died, he had been there every single day. Then, gradually, over the course of the next three years, he had stopped coming. Now, 15 years later, his first born son had died. He came back here to allow the memories to wash over him. The memories he had blocked out for 15 years. A tear drop fell onto her gravestone. Lily Evans. Never to be married. And to have only one child. Too bad that one child had to go through so much. Then there was James Potter. A Marauder and father. And also a man who had to much grief to bare. Then their was Sirius Black. A convicted murderer and a godfather. He had been through a lot in his life yet he never let the pain over take him. He was strong for those who could not be. He acted as a second father. He decided to make up for James' mistake. Last, but not least, Remus Lupin. A werewolf and a mentor. The last Marauder. He died protecting those he loved. He left behind his new born son so that other families would not be torn apart. Soon enough there would be a new grave. One that said, James Sirius Potter. He had thought he lost everything in the war. Sure, they had won. But at what cost? Were all those lives really worth it? All the families torn apart? Having to start over with everything? Almost every friend had died in that war. And the ones who didn't were scarred for life. Yes, life goes on. But only so one may rebuild only to be broken down again. He was wrong if he had thought everything was over with the war done. Everything was not done. His son had died. He was broken again. But this time he didn't want to rebuild. So he grabbed his wand. "Avada ke-" No. He couldn't, wouldn't, do it. He still had two other kids. He wouldn't make the mistakes of his mother and father. No, he would go on. It would be hard, but he would rebuild. He would fill the gash in his heart. More then that, he would become _whole_ again. _Whole again. Sounds nice._

_Forbidden to remember.  
Terrified to forget._

**Sad right? I think I did a good job pointing out who the characters were, but if you didn't know, then here they are...Okay for the first paragraph is was Lily and James talking, the next was Lily, then James, then James again, then Sirius, then Remus, and last but not least, Harry! Sorry about how bad my little explanation of what happened before was! Reviews please!**

**(I went back and read this and freaked out at how much mistakes I made! So I forced myself to go and fix them and I just hope that I got them all...)**


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